Discworld

Calling all followers of Offler...

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Calling all followers of Offler...

Postby Essy » Wed Jul 11, 2012 05:09 pm

This thread is for everybody who's been assigned (or is planning to join) the Offlians at the 2012 convention.


Great Offler, the crocodile god is originally from Klatch, but is worshipped all over the Disc in any area with a warm climate and a decent sized river.*

Offler has many jewelled temples, although the actual state of the jewels depends on whether any barbarian heroes or other temple robbers have visited recently. His followers are forbidden from eating broccoli, but the cooking of less healthy fare, particularly sausages, is actively encouraged. **

Much as Blind Io send out his disembodied eyeballs to spy on his followers, Offler has a flock of small birds who bring him news from across the Disc*** they also help with his dental hygiene in between times. “May your teeth be picked clean by birds” is a standard Offlian blessing.

Offler is believed to be fond of a good joke, certainly he’s always smiling…


And because we want to keep him smiling, we need your help! It’s time to start thinking up weird and wonderful ideas to entertain your fellow convention-goers on behalf of Great Offler. To start the ball rolling, here are a few things we’re already considering...


Howondaland Smith And The Temples Of Doom

You know that bit in Reaper Man where Death steals the giant diamond from the Lost Temple of Offler? Well, Offler has decided he'd quite like it back, please.

Unfortunately the diamond has changed hands several times since then, so you're going to have to form a team and explore the various temples of the Disc to find it for him, completing challenges of skill, speed, strength and logic in a game that we have definitely not stolen from the TV show Crystal Maze. Honest :-)


The Treacle Mine Road Nativity

A chance for all Offlians to unleash their inner thespian!

Miss Susan's class from Treacle Mine Road Primary School presents the story of The Birth Of Saint Offleton, complete with donkeys clutching coconut-shells, extremely stupid wise men, cardboard crocodiles, the star of Hersheba and an innkeeper who's all out of rooms, but can let you have the stable for just four dollars and that's cutting his own throat...


The Ritual Destruction of the Broccoli

Broccoli is an abomination unto Offler. We would therefore appreciate your help in destroying it. Your zeal will not go unrewarded, as any destroyed broccoli will be miraculously turned into a shower of sweets and small prizes through the power of Offler! (The fact that we'll be making pinatas shaped like broccoli beforehand and taking them to the convention does not make this transformation any less miraculous.)

To make a broccoli pinata, you need a newspaper, a cardboard tube, a few balloons, a bit of string and some paste or PVA glue. Want to give it a try? We can post instructions.


Crocodile Crafts and Games

If you'd like to explore your artistic side in the name of Offler, we're hoping to run a craft table for all things crocodile, from colouring-in to castanets! Or if that all sounds a bit too intensive, why not visit the games table for a nice game of Snap?

Basically, if you can think of a crocodile related craft activity we could do, get in touch! Likewise, if you've got any suitably Offleran games at home that you might be able to bring in (Crocodile Dentist, Gator Golf, that sort of thing) let us know and we can put them to good use. Finally, if you were planning to drink a lot of beer between now and the convention, please save the bottle caps so that we can use them on the craft table and enjoy your drink all the more thoroughly knowing that you're doing Offler's will!


So if you think you can help with some of these ideas, or improve them or if you have completely new ideas or if you have no ideas, yet but just want to introduce yourself to your fellow guild members, then hit reply!


Looking forward to seeing you all next month!

The High Priest and The Priest That's Not High****
Otto (Badge A108) and Essy (Badge A136)


* No, we’re not sure what he’s doing in Birmingham, either.

** It’s this sort of wise approach to religious prohibition that makes Offler so much more fun to follow than, say, Nuggan.

*** From which we presumably get the saying “A little bird told me”

**** We take turns.
Essy
 
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