Discworld

Actual Worldwide Signs

A place to come and chat about anything remotely Discworld, or just the weather.

Actual Worldwide Signs

Postby marmaduke » Thu Aug 18, 2005 11:21 am

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.

Doctors office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

In a Pumwani maternity ward:
NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.

An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.

At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY

Hotel, Acapulco:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On an Athi River highway:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.

On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.

In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Hotel elevator, Paris:
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.

Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:
COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF

Car rental brochure, Tokyo:
WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOUR.

Sign in men's rest room in Japan:
TO STOP LEAK TURN !!!! TO THE RIGHT

Sign in Japanese public bath:
FOREIGN GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO PULL !!!! IN TUB.

In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN,LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME

In a Bucharest Hotel lobby (really!):
THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.
Everything comes to them that wait.
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Postby sheep21 » Thu Aug 18, 2005 01:32 pm

mafe me smile, nice one :)
'Are you Death?'
IT'S THE SCYTHE IS'NT IT? EVERYONE NOTICE'S THE SCYTHE

Death Wish Dave
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Postby Stibbons » Thu Aug 18, 2005 02:11 pm

Go here- http://www.engrish.com and laugh. Bless 'em.

(darn url links, can never get them right...)
We'll keep the turtle moving.
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Postby CUTMEOWNTHROATPETER » Thu Aug 18, 2005 02:18 pm

Image
If time heals all wounds, how come the belly button always stays the same?
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Postby Doc Brown » Thu Aug 18, 2005 02:47 pm

pmsl :lol:
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Postby Addicted » Thu Aug 18, 2005 02:53 pm

Sorry - I got bored.....

Image

New LBE design? :D
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Postby Addicted » Thu Aug 18, 2005 02:54 pm

By the way - the signs in the corners are supposed to be coins but I know they look more like UFOs!!! :lol:
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Postby CUTMEOWNTHROATPETER » Thu Aug 18, 2005 03:16 pm

Excellent :thumbr: I expect to see one of those at the entrance to Wincanton soon! :lol: :lol: :lol:
If time heals all wounds, how come the belly button always stays the same?
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Postby nicobains » Fri Aug 19, 2005 11:05 am

well if it says you will get addicted so that means that you want us to get you so how does that work then ? :P
From experience if someone asks you if your busy, say yes!

Quoted from Bernard

"Get 'em while their young."
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Postby Addicted » Fri Aug 19, 2005 06:15 pm

That part of it's only for DWJunkie!! :P :lol:
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Postby dwjunkie » Fri Aug 19, 2005 06:19 pm

Yep, its true, I'm addicted to Addicted...
:D
BOLDLY GOING FORWARD BECAUSE I CAN'T FIND REVERSE
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Postby Addicted » Fri Aug 19, 2005 06:20 pm

And I'm Junkie's junkie!! :D :oops:
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Postby Fi » Fri Aug 19, 2005 10:10 pm

:roll: sheesh what you like :lol:
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Postby Doc Brown » Fri Aug 19, 2005 10:12 pm

Junkies addicted to each other?
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Postby Addicted » Sun Aug 21, 2005 11:45 pm

Sounds about right! :D
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