Discworld

Aaaaarrrgggghhh - Room 101

A place to come and chat about anything remotely Discworld, or just the weather.

Re: Aaaaarrrgggghhh - Room 101

Postby I.B.Igor » Tue Nov 28, 2017 12:14 pm

Where Oh where is the big pointy stick with the nails in it! GRRRRRRRRR. :evil:
So far I have spent over Six quid in bus fares, god knows how long on the phone, taken two buses to get to some far flung pharmacy to be given blank stares over a blood test ( supposedly booked in ) to come home, freezing cold, to rummage through dustbins to find the paperwork I needed (to scream at some numpty incompetent ) to ring the flaming number , to find out I got sent to the WRONG BLOODY PHARMACY.
And I turned down work this morning so I could go on this utter whild goose chase for nothing! ( peeing off my bosss royally) Today has cost me over thirty quid, and put my blood pressure near boiling point.

Somone send me a whipping boy and a spaniel to kick!

Why did I do all this? alledgedly for the good of my health, Diabeties Prevention Programme, if you get put on the sceme, be very very careful of the call staff in the Booking centre, they have no flaming idea of what bit of the country you are in, and ONLY deal with Lloyds Pharmacies, which are now as rare as hens teeth. Be warned!
Last edited by I.B.Igor on Wed Nov 29, 2017 07:11 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Aaaaarrrgggghhh - Room 101

Postby Pat » Tue Nov 28, 2017 02:10 pm

People came today to replace our soffits (no, I didn't either. but squirrels were getting in because we didn't have any). They came yesterday and put up scaffolding - at the front of the house only, to our surprise. It also surprised the guys who came today but who thought they could manage without scaffolding at the back - there's enough moss on the lawn to make it soft...

Anyway, we now have some lovely new gutters. There was nothing wrong with the old gutters. And we still don't have any soffits.

They're coming back tomorrow.
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Re: Aaaaarrrgggghhh - Room 101

Postby Sandra » Tue Nov 28, 2017 04:54 pm

We got them done in our previous house - about a month BEFORE the law on asbestos changed*. Looks like your house doesn't have that surprise for you.

* the new law would have resulted in the workmen downing tools and calling the asbestos expert removers in... As it was white asbestos, in good condition and would be well boxed in my the new soffits we left it in place (along with the other asbestos in places that made use of it's useful fire prevention properties)
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Re: Aaaaarrrgggghhh - Room 101

Postby kegejo » Fri Dec 08, 2017 03:29 am

I hate doing this because of my dyspraxia,which leaves me more than a bit stressed when I have to count parts for the 'nth time due to the computer not agreeing.
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Re: Aaaaarrrgggghhh - Room 101

Postby Nonny Mouse » Wed Feb 21, 2018 04:14 am

Last week, my beautiful, witty, and confident 11-year old daughter was groped on the playground by one of her classmates. My daughter’s description was that he just walked up, touched her breast, and ran off. He claimed he either tripped or was pushed, but according to some students who confessed knowledge of it, he had planned the move for at least a week – meaning, to me, that he knew it was wrong, didn’t want to get caught, thought it over, and did it anyway. After the principal interviewed 13 students besides them, 11 of whom verified the story (apparently half the sixth grade knew about it), the kid was suspended.

My daughter was confused at first but is now handling it like it was the stupidest prank ever and the boy is an idiot. She’s not the least bit intimidated by him or his friends. Thank goodness, it doesn’t seem to have crossed her mind to feel any shame in this. I think she would laugh if anyone suggested such a thing.

My issue is that I’m really angry about how the principal handled this. She kept wanting to use the words ‘inappropriate touching’ but to me this is plainly a premeditated sexual assault. But she did not want to use those words ‘because that’s a heavy thing to lay on a child’ and even told my daughter she was not assaulted because he didn’t stand there and fondle her. I have always sided with the school in terms of disciplinary issues, but in this case I told my daughter the principal was just plain wrong. In the future, if it happens again in other contexts, I don’t want my daughter to think it’s no big deal and she should let it slide. I want justice, now and every time.

I’m fine with the punishment the student received, but I’m not satisfied with how the message has been softened. If that kid decides at some point that it was worth it, he might try something again when he is older, stronger, and more entitled, and the consequences more dire. And it completely enrages me that the principal told my daughter what she experienced wasn’t assault. I think it’s this sort of cowardice that allows rape culture to exist.

I could go to the district and complain about how the situation was handled, but I want a sanity check – is my anger justified or is it just that I have gone rabid defending my child? Which, btw, I would not feel bad about, because I am generally a reasonable person but messing with my kids is calling down pain upon yo' head that you have never contemplated.

I realize my own #Metoo may also be playing a factor, but godsdammit, she's not even old enough for Facebook but qualifies for #Metoo. I think I should be somewhat pissed about it.

PS: Last summer I had a similar problem at the school day camp regarding my son. He and several of his classmates were being groped daily by a peer who had developmental delays and functioned mentally as a 5 year old but was a tween. The teachers at first failed to do anything when the students complained to them; their next move was to assign someone to ‘watch him closely’. Only a couple of weeks of me screaming lawsuit threats at them did they finally find alternate accommodations for that child, who clearly needed a different environment. I can only conclude that our school district has a weakness in their policy regarding what to do if students assault each other.

My silver linings are, my kids are willing to talk to me about stuff other kids woudn't dare tell their parents, and, I was wondering when the right time was to tell her some things. Guess it's now.
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Re: Aaaaarrrgggghhh - Room 101

Postby Tonyblack » Wed Feb 21, 2018 06:30 am

That's horrible, Nonny! It sounds like the school is trying to brush the problem under the mat so they don't have to deal with it seriously. I'm very glad your daughter was able to be so frank about it with you - it must be very confusing for her at that age.
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Re: Aaaaarrrgggghhh - Room 101

Postby chrisboote » Wed Feb 21, 2018 08:55 am

Nonny Mouse wrote:... he might try something again when he is older, stronger, and more entitled, and the consequences more dire

I want a sanity check – is my anger justified


You're sane, and your fury is 100% justified

The principal has made a huge error for the very reason you stated and I have highlighted above

By treating it as a minor incident, with no punishment than suspension, the principal has screwed up big time, and lost the chance for a psychological evaluation and possibly intervention exactly to prevent this being repeated

I don't know how it works in the US, but in the UK such incident must be reported both to the police and the Social Services

I am generally very scathing about the DSS, but this is one area in which they shine, the prevention of future incidents by counselling for the perpetrator

In your situation I would be screaming from the rafters, and telling the school board to deal with this appropriately, taking it as what it is - a serious sexual assault - or you'll be going to the press and the police yourself

This boy needs help, as well as punishment

Fortunately, your daughter has her head screwed on right (your daughter, so no surprise there) but yes, probably time for a talk
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Re: Aaaaarrrgggghhh - Room 101

Postby I.B.Igor » Wed Feb 21, 2018 10:31 am

Pre meditated assault. He Planned it, he waited, he checked with other kids who had prior knowledge he was going to do it, and then he did it. If that isnt groping or assault then I am a dutch uncle.
Thank the lord your daughter is mentally fit enough to see this boy as a lame idiot, as for yourself, I would keep yelling at the top of my voice, if he can do this, once, and just get suspended, what next?

I had one kid at school who thought it would be fun to try and break my arm while waiting in the lunch que, he bruised it badly, less than a week later he managed to break my friends arm, after that we never saw him again.

I would need a lot of reassurance this boy had been given a lecture on inapropriate behaviour, and what is and isnt OK to do to a fellow pupil , male or female. Give yourself, and your doughter a hug from me.
What a horrible thing to have to deal with.
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Re: Aaaaarrrgggghhh - Room 101

Postby Sandra » Wed Feb 21, 2018 12:01 pm

Here I would suggest going to the Governors (I think it's equivalent to the School Board for you) and ask for the whole school to have lessons on the Me Too movement. Suggest they use this video from a police force here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZwvrxVavnQ

It is designed to make it really clear that consent is easy to understand (in part used to train police officers to understand as well).

Demand that the school record records this incident as Sexual Assault in the boys records (it may help if he does this later - or force him to get counselling before it happens again), if he does this again it will establish a pattern and if not - well the records will not be available for all to read and if he's ever questioned he can use the record to prove he learnt his lesson and understands how unacceptable this was.

I am of the view that children being bullied (whether it's breaking bones or soul) should be treated far harsher, I know children learn a lot from being bullied but it is almost always the wrong lesson - children do not need to learn how to harm, but how to prevent harm and from my experience it is far easier to learn how to be a bully than to stand up and help your friend (or a stranger) who is being bullied.

(PS I hope you have something wonderful for your daughter as a rewarded for her honesty and strength of character)
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Re: Aaaaarrrgggghhh - Room 101

Postby Grace Speaker » Wed Feb 21, 2018 12:04 pm

Hi Nonny, I absolutely agree with all of the above!!

As an early developer, I was on the receiving end of this sort of crap for years from about the same sort of age as your daughter and when I complained to either a teacher or my mother I was basically made to feel it was somehow my fault. Paraphrasing, I was told to expect that sort of attention because of the way I looked was different to the other girls and was told to either 'be flattered' or 'just ignore it, it's just boys being boys' - except that it isn't, it's abuse and needs to be stopped. I wish my mother had done even a tiny fraction of the action you've taken to protect your daughter and am really glad she has a mum like you!

This boy knew what he was doing was wrong and went and did it anyway - and by the way the other kids who knew what he was planning to do beforehand also need a lesson in prevention, i.e. telling a teacher or other adult that they suspect someone they know may be in danger of assault. Hopefully this stupid boy has learned his lesson and the action you've taken to protect your daughter will stop this boy from turning into another Harvey Weinstein.

You go girl!
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Re: Aaaaarrrgggghhh - Room 101

Postby Nonny Mouse » Wed Feb 21, 2018 01:43 pm

Thank you all! I have a final meeting with the principal and if she doesn't relent, I'll go to the school board.

I appreciate the moral support, I love you guys.
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Re: Aaaaarrrgggghhh - Room 101

Postby Sandra » Sat Feb 24, 2018 09:07 pm

A little one - but it's made my head hurt...

We had a binge on Films this evening - Mummy (2017), Baywatch and Fast & Furious 8..... Baywatch had a better script than the Mummy and F&F8 was easily the better film.

What reality do I live in that a film about stealing cars (this time they go against a nuclear sub!) is the best film, that Baywatch was fun to watch? The original Mummy was so well balanced (characters, script, science vs magic, bit of history, action) how can the remake be THAT bad?
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Re: Aaaaarrrgggghhh - Room 101

Postby phazedout » Sat Feb 24, 2018 09:43 pm

Sandra wrote:A little one - but it's made my head hurt...

We had a binge on Films this evening - Mummy (2017), Baywatch and Fast & Furious 8..... Baywatch had a better script than the Mummy and F&F8 was easily the better film.

What reality do I live in that a film about stealing cars (this time they go against a nuclear sub!) is the best film, that Baywatch was fun to watch? The original Mummy was so well balanced (characters, script, science vs magic, bit of history, action) how can the remake be THAT bad?

Easy, it has Tom Cruise in it, that man has the power to make any film seem awful.
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Re: Aaaaarrrgggghhh - Room 101

Postby Darren » Sat Feb 24, 2018 09:49 pm

They were also so busy trying to set up and establish a franchise and a "film universe" that they forgot to actually make a film out of it too...

Having also seen the thing a while back I can wholeheartedly agree that it's dire.
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Re: Aaaaarrrgggghhh - Room 101

Postby Nonny Mouse » Tue Feb 27, 2018 02:04 am

Update:

Well, I won... although nothing about this feels like winning. But I got what I wanted, which was, besides the suspension, a report to the police and his permanent school file, and he has to talk to the counselor. But the principal still kept trying to frame it as 'horseplay' and didn't want to treat it that seriously. Luckily district policy is on my side and all that is mandatory so she had no choice. I just didn't want her sweeping it under the rug. Schools just don't like to deal with this stuff. It's irritating that you have to make them.

So end result actions are satisfactory, but I'm still annoyed. :evil:

BTW I love the tea and consent video and I have shown that to my kids already.
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