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Ministry of Alternative Facts . . .

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Re: Ministry of Alternative Facts . . .

Postby Grace Speaker » Mon Mar 13, 2017 10:46 pm

Whos Wee Dug wrote:Well you could always ask the fridge it overlooks them all. :mrgreen:
Nah, the fridge was banished to the dining room after the Freezergate scandal back in 2015 . . .
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Re: Ministry of Alternative Facts . . .

Postby Basement » Tue Mar 14, 2017 09:33 am

I'm more worried about the breadmaker; I'm sure it's in league with my cat, how else would I explain the upside down pawmarks on the side of it...?
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Re: Ministry of Alternative Facts . . .

Postby Pat » Tue Mar 14, 2017 10:55 am

Grace Speaker wrote:According to Kellyanne Conway, you can forget the CIA accessing your mobile, TV or Laptop to spy on you - it's your microwave you really need to be worrying about:

“What I can say is there are many ways to surveil each other now, unfortunately,” including “microwaves that turn into cameras, etc,” Conway told New Jersey’s the Record newspaper in an interview on Sunday. “So we know that that is just a fact of modern life.”


My Kettle says it's all a plot by the dastardly Coffee Maker to seize control from the Toaster and don't even start me on what the Iron gets up to when it thinks my back is turned . . .


In the words of Boothby Graffoe:

"There isn't any warning sign before the edge of reason,
I 'm always falling over when I go around the bend.
I used to think that loneliness was key to my existence
But now I believe the white goods in my kitchen are my friends.

I hang out with the cooker, We call the fridge a hooker,
We write rude words in magnets on his door when he's asleep.
This annoys the freezer who thinks he's such a geezer -
Too cool for me, he's mindful of the company he keeps.

And nobody talks to the spin dryer. He's well known for being a liar.
He can make anything sound good. He can make anything sound better than it should.
He can make anything sound good. He can make anything sound better than it should."

Or if you want it in your ears and not your eyes, Boothby has left a recording of it here.
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Re: Ministry of Alternative Facts . . .

Postby Grace Speaker » Tue Mar 14, 2017 01:04 pm

Basement wrote:I'm more worried about the breadmaker; I'm sure it's in league with my cat, how else would I explain the upside down pawmarks on the side of it...?
:lol: I shouldn't be at all surprised! Cats are very good kneaders and bread does need to be kneaded, so their relationship is obviously on a knead-to-know . . .
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Re: Ministry of Alternative Facts . . .

Postby Basement » Tue Mar 14, 2017 01:26 pm

Grace Speaker wrote:
Basement wrote:I'm more worried about the breadmaker; I'm sure it's in league with my cat, how else would I explain the upside down pawmarks on the side of it...?
:lol: I shouldn't be at all surprised! Cats are very good kneaders and bread does need to be kneaded, so their relationship is obviously on a knead-to-know . . .


GROAN!!! :lol:
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Re: Ministry of Alternative Facts . . .

Postby steeljam » Tue Mar 14, 2017 01:49 pm

I refuse to buy one of those smart toilets.
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Re: Ministry of Alternative Facts . . .

Postby Sandra » Tue Mar 14, 2017 08:22 pm

steeljam wrote:I refuse to buy one of those smart toilets.


Have you seen the Simpson's episode where they have a holiday in Japan? That's enough reason to never get one :shock:
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Re: Ministry of Alternative Facts . . .

Postby phalarope » Tue Mar 14, 2017 08:23 pm

steeljam wrote:I refuse to buy one of those smart toilets.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Ministry of Alternative Facts . . .

Postby Librarians Apprentice » Tue Mar 14, 2017 08:39 pm

Oook!

Spikey asked me, jokingly, if I wanted to buy a TV with WiFi - I told her that, while the rise of the machines is inevitable, I see no reason to hasten it.
What ape? Oook! :book:
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Re: Ministry of Alternative Facts . . .

Postby Pat » Wed Mar 15, 2017 09:51 am

Sandra wrote:
steeljam wrote:I refuse to buy one of those smart toilets.


Have you seen the Simpson's episode where they have a holiday in Japan? That's enough reason to never get one :shock:

Apparently the manufacturers have at last agreed on a common set of symbols for the controls! http://www.theverge.com/2017/1/17/14306 ... g-standard
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Re: Ministry of Alternative Facts . . .

Postby Grace Speaker » Wed Mar 15, 2017 10:48 am

Shamelessly Feegled from HIGNFY tweet, but :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Obama may have spied on Donald Trump through a microwave, Kellyanne Conway has said through her arse.

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Re: Ministry of Alternative Facts . . .

Postby chrisboote » Wed Mar 15, 2017 07:16 pm

Pat wrote:
Sandra wrote:
steeljam wrote:I refuse to buy one of those smart toilets.


Have you seen the Simpson's episode where they have a holiday in Japan? That's enough reason to never get one :shock:

Apparently the manufacturers have at last agreed on a common set of symbols for the controls! http://www.theverge.com/2017/1/17/14306 ... g-standard

That one third from the right is clearly the one that Ridcully 'enjoyed'
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Re: Ministry of Alternative Facts . . .

Postby Pat » Thu Mar 16, 2017 11:08 am

chrisboote wrote:That one third from the right is clearly the one that Ridcully 'enjoyed'

I'm not sure I understand the difference between 3rd and 4th from the right. 2nd from the right is obviously "Dispense paper"
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Re: Ministry of Alternative Facts . . .

Postby Whos Wee Dug » Thu Mar 16, 2017 11:55 am

Pat wrote:
chrisboote wrote:That one third from the right is clearly the one that Ridcully 'enjoyed'

I'm not sure I understand the difference between 3rd and 4th from the right. 2nd from the right is obviously "Dispense paper"

2nd from the right is hot air 3rd male wash 4th female wash.
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Re: Ministry of Alternative Facts . . .

Postby steeljam » Thu Mar 16, 2017 02:20 pm

I have used three types of toilet in Japan: European, publicJapanese squat and bring your own paper and the smart toilet.
The public toilet was the hardest to use; the British people aren't familiar with squatting and balancing whilst aiming at a hole in the ground. It is not the same as squatting in the woods.
The smart toilet had symbols but numbered, so you pressed the next button when the previous one had finished. I did enjoy the heated seat as we were in the north and there was still snow lying around.
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