Silver Linings...

[phalarope]

According to the Washington Post, the Current Occupant, aka #45, aka Cheeto In Chief, will not be polluting your shores with an official visit, State or otherwise. We would like to export him, although most of us value our friends in Forn Parts too much to wish him upon anyone else. #shithole #vulgarmoron

[Tonyblack]

According to the BBC news this morning, he's decided that he's not coming after all. He's made a feeble excuse, but the suggestion is that he's worried that people here don't like him and might protest.

[Sandra]

I've heard that he's upset to not get an invite to the wedding...

[Nonny Mouse]

Yeah, at least you guys are safe. I am waiting for the day Mueller becomes a national hero by indicting our national embarrassment.

[Grace Speaker]

Where to even begin with this one? I could go on at quite some length about #45 being an ignorant, racist, sexist, entitled, incompetent, obnoxious, rude and, to quote Rex Tillerson (allegedly), a complete ****ing moron, who is a much greater threat to world peace than even that other weapon-obsessed lunatic with bad hair in NK.

However, I will simply say that he is an absolute disgrace to the office of President and I am extremely glad that he will not be coming any time soon, and that the UK will not have to waste tens of millions of pounds in providing security for him and policing the inevitable mass-protests that would happen wherever he went. I was also thoroughly disgusted by the reaction to the announcement of the equally racist, bargain-basement Trump wannabe we've got over here, who tried to blame our Muslim Mayor of London for inciting anti-Trump public protest. What utter, utter tosh! All the decent British people I know don't need any encouragement to demonstrate their rejection of Mr Trump and would happily queue up to do so . . . well, this would be a British demonstration after all and we love a good queue

[Whos Wee Dug]

In a email received today.

Donald Trump goes on a fact-finding visit to Israel.
While he is on a tour of Jerusalem he suffers a heart attack and dies.
The undertaker tells the American diplomats accompanying him, 'You can have him shipped home for $50,000, or you can bury him here, in the Holy Land for just $100.'
The American diplomats go into a corner to discuss for a few minutes. They return with their answer to the undertaker and tell him they want Donald Trump shipped home.
The undertaker is puzzled and asks, 'Why would you spend $50,000 to ship him home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $100?
The American diplomats reply, 'Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. We just can't take the risk.'

[Nonny Mouse]

[Grace Speaker]

If anyone has not already had the pleasure, probably due to not being in the bit of For'n parts that gets CBS, may I recommend that you wander over to that Youtube thingamajig to watch the opening monologues of Mr Stephen Colbert on The Late Show* to aid in sanity retention during this trying time:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMtFAi84ehTSYSE9XoHefig

Seth Meyers on "Late Night with Seth Myers" is also well worth it, especially The "Closer Look" segments. Other late-night hosts worth watching are Samantha Bee, Trevor Noah and John Oliver




*the "Big Furry Hat" and the "Midnight Confessions" skits are also hilarious, although the interviews themselves can be a bit hit-and-miss

[Alan]

In a email received today.

Donald Trump goes on a fact-finding visit to Israel.
While he is on a tour of Jerusalem he suffers a heart attack and dies.
The undertaker tells the American diplomats accompanying him, 'You can have him shipped home for $50,000, or you can bury him here, in the Holy Land for just $100.'
The American diplomats go into a corner to discuss for a few minutes. They return with their answer to the undertaker and tell him they want Donald Trump shipped home.
The undertaker is puzzled and asks, 'Why would you spend $50,000 to ship him home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $100?
The American diplomats reply, 'Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. We just can't take the risk.'

Best laugh i`ve had in a while

[Nonny Mouse]

If anyone has not already had the pleasure, probably due to not being in the bit of For'n parts that gets CBS, may I recommend that you wander over to that Youtube thingamajig to watch the opening monologues of Mr Stephen Colbert on The Late Show* to aid in sanity retention during this trying time:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMtFAi84ehTSYSE9XoHefig

Seth Meyers on "Late Night with Seth Myers" is also well worth it, especially The "Closer Look" segments. Other late-night hosts worth watching are Samantha Bee, Trevor Noah and John Oliver

All excellent and witty.