Discworld

Useful Hints, Tips and Words of Wisdom

Just what it says on the tin, a place for all sorts of useful and useless information.

Postby Rabelasian » Wed Aug 10, 2005 12:31 pm

You'll catch more wasps with honey than with vinegar. :D
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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Postby Pusha-da-Quil » Wed Aug 10, 2005 12:31 pm

rentawitch wrote:an Organic vibrator. very green, - now how do you catch wasps? :roll:


:roll: With Chopsticks. :wink:
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Postby Rammie » Wed Aug 10, 2005 12:33 pm

lol @ renta, its a technical query if ever I heard one. Monte Cristo tubes are best :wink:
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Postby Rabelasian » Wed Aug 10, 2005 12:37 pm

Rammie wrote:lol @ renta, its a technical query if ever I heard one. Monte Cristo tubes are best :wink:


You often make vibrators out of cigar tubes then?
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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Postby Rammie » Wed Aug 10, 2005 12:37 pm

it tops up my student loan :)
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Postby Rabelasian » Wed Aug 10, 2005 12:39 pm

Rammie wrote:it tops up my student loan :)


That explains it then. :wink:
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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Postby Addicted » Wed Aug 10, 2005 08:36 pm

My top tip....

When phoning companies with annoying phone systems (press 1 for ... press 2 for ...), to avoid getting stuck in the phone maze simply stay quiet. Most of the time the system will assume you don't have a touch tone phone and will connect you straight to an operator.

Also, on some phone systems if you hit 0 about 50 times then the machine assumes you're a loony and puts you straight through! :sunny:
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Postby Brorien » Wed Aug 10, 2005 09:51 pm

More helpful advice.....

Duck!
Take my love, take my land, take me where I can not stand. I don't care, I'm still free, You can't take the sky from me.

Take me out to the black, tell them I ain't comin' back. Burn the land and boil the sea, you can't take the sky from me.
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Postby 15goingon5 » Wed Aug 10, 2005 10:00 pm

How not to sky-dive:

1) don't fall asleep wile jumping
2) don't forget to pack the parachute
3) don't forget to pull the cord

4) this is the most important, infact if you don't take note of this your all doomed. don't I repeat don't (and this is absolutly imperative to the survival of the sky-diveing race) ever EVER I really mean this E V E R sky-dive with a spoon
when life can't get worse you can only look forward. when life can't get better you gotta look out
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Postby Temple Maiden » Wed Aug 10, 2005 10:28 pm

15goingon5 wrote:
4) this is the most important, infact if you don't take note of this your all doomed. don't I repeat don't (and this is absolutly imperative to the survival of the sky-diveing race) ever EVER I really mean this E V E R sky-dive with a spoon


I know I'm going to regret this - why?
"Oh smeg!" said the Borg. "We have assimilated Lister!"
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Postby Addicted » Thu Aug 11, 2005 05:28 pm

Did you hear about the guy that threw a parrot off a cliff, shot it with a gun and then jumped off after it and fell to his death???

He was parrot-shooting! :D
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Postby Rammie » Thu Aug 11, 2005 06:53 pm

Addicted wrote:Did you hear about the guy that threw a parrot off a cliff, shot it with a gun and then jumped off after it and fell to his death???

He was parrot-shooting! :D


His mate with the chicken didn't fair much better

Last time he'll try hen-gliding ;)
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Postby Addicted » Thu Aug 11, 2005 07:10 pm

And what about their other guy that attached a budgie to each shoulder and jumped off the cliff??

His friends told him to try budgie-jumping! :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Postby 15goingon5 » Thu Aug 11, 2005 09:09 pm

Temple Maiden wrote:
15goingon5 wrote:
4) this is the most important, infact if you don't take note of this your all doomed. don't I repeat don't (and this is absolutly imperative to the survival of the sky-diveing race) ever EVER I really mean this E V E R sky-dive with a spoon


I know I'm going to regret this - why?


Honestly you really don't wont to know....it's much better you don't know and don't try it...trust me...a complete stranger :lol:
when life can't get worse you can only look forward. when life can't get better you gotta look out
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Postby Vimesy » Thu Aug 11, 2005 09:36 pm

To save on any hair raising experiences, a trip to the ER and, quite possibly, death, never stick a fork into a plug socket whilst holding the other end.

I know it is obvious and tacky, but someone had to do it :D
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